Day 24: Detaching from my ego

This week was a bit of a different week for me with regards to Ramadan and my training - mainly because I didn't do any. After receiving my injury rehabilitation and deep tissue treatment with Ashleigh at Kyniska Sports Therapy, I accepted her advice and rested for 2 full days. Resting is never my favourite thing to do! But I took my medicine and tried to see it as an opportunity to catch up on sleep and adjust to the even shorter eating/hydrating window between fasts.

I actually ended up resting for 4 days! 2 of these days were not intended, but I was absolutely exhausted in the evenings after delivering my Personal Training sessions and doing bedtime for James Junior. I was also going to bed much sooner after breaking my fast and didn't set alarms to wake up for extra water. The window for eating and drinking is only 4 hours long now as the countdown to Eid begins. I simply can't eat a second meal any more and I'm feeling very comfortable energy-wise just eating a big meal once a day.

After waking quite early yesterday (Friday) morning I decided to have a little play on my paralettes before work and practise a variation on the Bent-Arm Handstand that I was keen to try. Finally I was doing some training and I felt really good doing it. I continued to practise this movement all day and in to the evening, leading to some huge progress. This was so exciting for me and it simply wouldn't have happened without accepting such an extended rest period and catching up on much-needed sleep.

I can now fly up to a Bent-Arm Handstand on my paralettes at will from a pike position and I can start showing off a little more with it - as I did today, down at Hogganfield Loch in Stepps!

Accepting rest when I really need to rest is always tough for me. My ego often prevents me from recognising or accepting that I'm run down, or could do with a break to repair and recover from my hectic schedule and challenging exercises. I even felt under pressure to continue training despite fasting daily, just to prove that

I could do it. This is quite negative behaviour and you can see how it could be damaging long term to do that to myself. 

With some wind in my sails and a more positive mental perspective, last night I reflected on the week that had just been. My conclusion was that pride and ego can be a problem for me. I often stubbornly try and fit everything in and don't give myself chance to rest and relax. 

Ramadan has given me an opportunity to learn from this. Throughout the past 24 days I've had to amend my training, take naps instead of training and generally sacrifice my performance and schedule in places. During Ramadan, I've had to learn to detach from my ego, because it can weigh me down. 

There has been loads of ego-boosting comments and attention coming my way since I started my fasting journey. These ego-boosting interactions have been specific to people being proud of me for doing it in the first place, comments on perceived weight loss and compliments on my training/progress videos. Despite enjoying the attention, I actually found this week that my ego was over-inflated a little and I was at risk of not actually enjoying myself in the final 10 days.

I'll be spending my last week of Ramadan far more aware of my ego and how it impacts my expectations, motivation and self-talk. As nice as compliments are too receive, I don't want to let them influence me to become focused on the wrong things. 

I didn't decided to observe fasting this Ramadan for attention, to lose weight, or show everyone how great I can train despite not eating or drinking. I wanted to learn about what it's like for other people, to support my student, and prove to myself that I can live without things I can be dependent upon.

Like Sophia Hassan said to me she has been doing, during our recent Instagram TV live chat, I'm going to keep listening to my body and not let my ego dictate my behaviours, feelings and motivation.